Drinking the Kool-Aid

Closing the Teach For America Blogging Gap
Jan 05 2012

Edu-Vomit (…you may think this is funny, but this is what our country is doing to our children)

Problem-solving is essential. Engage your students in creative thinking. As teachers, we use extrinsic motivation for criterion checks, but be careful to stick with guidelines for high-stakes testing in heterogeneous groups.

You are required to volunteer strategies so everyone is on the same page.

I believe in data. Data, data, data. You need to know where your students are, so don’t forget to assess. It’s important that you always go back and spiral in those prerequisite skills. Scaffold your instruction, so you are able to meet the needs of students with different readiness and varying backgrounds. It’s so, so crucial to make sure you differentiate for different styles of learners. Kinesthetic learners need that action, the visual learners need that stimulation. Have you heard of multiple intelligences? And plan, plan, plan. Don’t just plan, but use data to drive your instruction. Spiral those skills, use them in a warm-up or assign them as homework; students need that exposure. Keep that rigor.

Post your “I can” statements. If you have students read, engage them in phonemic awareness for decoding as well as systematic, explicit phonics to improve their word attack skills. It is so important to spiral learner-centered articulation for the benchmark visionary strategies. As a teacher, you need to harness these integrated infrastructures so that you can evaluate as many inquiry-centered experiences as possible. Implement critical thinking in your content area. Mesh those mastery-focused objectives with the discipline-based enrichment you plan. As a teacher, enhance their power for cross-curricular thinking by envisioning intuitive content- and assessment-driven technologies. Integrate cooperative units that repurpose meaning-centered strategies and transition compelling paradigms so your students will engineer constructivist functionalities. As teachers, our goal is to transform shared alignment so we can push students to be collegial life-long learners who leverage brain-compatible niches. Engineer authentic competencies, agendize strategic learning styles, and extend developmentally appropriate decision-making. Develop efficient, group-based, hands-on, strategic, holistic, assessment-driven, bottom-up, authentic, metacognitive meaning-centered schemas. Cultivate, assess, disaggregate, engage, iterate, revolutionize, generate, grow, and utilize. Utilize, utilize, utilize.

Never forget the value of action planning, action items, pedagogy for business partnerships, applications to the curriculum, ESLRs, network paradigms, stakeholders and relationship processes, and multiple intelligence outcomes. Plan and execute learning-intensive site-based decision-making, recontextualize undefined processes, deliver proactive differentiated lessons that unleash cross-curricular paradigms and utilize interactive processes in order to triangulate competency-based teaching. Maximize developmentally appropriate outcomes for integration of real-world communities generate visionary objectives extension of problem-based and discipline-based decision-making child-centered intuitive classroom-based collaborative collegial meaning-focused compelling competency-based constructivist learner-centered with cooperative critical student-intensive cross-curricular class size for comparable growth content conflict core curriculum global hands-on impactful innovative interactive interdisciplinary and mastery literature-based mission-critical efficient subjective practices.

And your classroom needs a word wall.

(many thanks to sciencegeek’s educational jargon generator for help with this work)

9 Responses

  1. simplewords

    …funny, except that as a first year teacher I read this nodding my head thinking, “yep, yep, yep…. wait…. no wonder I feel like a failure.”

    And no wonder my kids feel barfed on.

  2. RaeRae

    I am weeping with joy at your eloquence. Your grasp of the fundamentals and perplexities of teaching in America leaves me breathless..as I also nod my head yes yes yes.. and barf on my students.

  3. G

    Translation: “blah blah blah.” In a Charlie Brown teacher voice, of course…ugh!

  4. yeppp pretty much.

  5. CT TEACHER

    WONDERFUL!!!

  6. dana

    All B.S. to make administrators feel important. Just teach!

  7. alwaysawildcat

    …and really, you should be able to pack all of this essential work into the 7:15-2:15 school day, with 1 prep hour.

    Love it!

  8. Mrs. B

    Hahahahaha….oh God, this is so depressing.

  9. Get rid of Boards/Ministries/Offices of Education they exist only for themselves and use this language manipulation to maintain control and thus a job paying more than you.
    “The master is the one who controls the language”
    The best teachers are very sensitive to the friction between their own practice and the imposed linguistic choreography thrown at them from above. The result is stupefying mediocrity and a reduction in the value of overpriced education expenditure.

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